{"id":130,"date":"2020-08-17T13:48:00","date_gmt":"2020-08-17T10:48:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ummforat.com\/?p=130"},"modified":"2024-10-21T08:38:45","modified_gmt":"2024-10-21T08:38:45","slug":"i-had-to-come-a-long-way-to-be-happy-to-meet-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ummforat.com\/en\/i-had-to-come-a-long-way-to-be-happy-to-meet-you\/","title":{"rendered":"“I had to come a long way to be happy to meet you.”"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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After nearly a month abroad and a battle with the Israeli military<\/a> <\/span>over his return, my partner Osama landed at the Tel Aviv airport. I left our children with neighbors and drove to pick him up. He exited the airport wearing a mask and face shield, clearly tired. I stood two meters from him and made gestures of a hug and kiss. He smiled, put his suitcase in the trunk and sat in the back seat. I opened the windows, and we drove toward Ramallah.<\/span><\/p>

\u201cThey treated us like VIPs,\u201d he reported, when I expressed surprise at how quickly he cleared the airport. \u201cTwo security officers collected me and another three Palestinians. We didn\u2019t have to wait in line.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI missed you, sweetheart,\u201d I said. \u201cThe children also miss you.\u201d<\/p>

But at home, Osama entered mandatory travel quarantine in our bedroom, which has its own bathroom and door that opens to the garden. I brought the children to the garden and showed them Osama behind the screen door and iron gate. A huge smile spread over the face of two-and-a-half year old Adam. He grabbed the locked iron gate and tried to open it. When it remained closed, he pulled my hand.<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s locked, sweetheart,\u201d I told him. Six-year old Forat tried to explain: \u201cBaba can\u2019t leave the room because of the virus!\u201d But Adam was determined. He pulled me into the house, to the bedroom door, and pulled its handle hard.<\/p>

I knelt beside him and spoke softly. \u201cSweetheart, the door is locked.\u201d<\/p>

Adam ran outside and tried the iron gate again. And then ran back inside and tried to open the other door again.<\/p>

\u201cBaba!\u201d he screamed and burst into tears. I hugged him and thought of the additional two weeks ahead of me, still alone with the children, without daycare or summer camp or a partner to help.<\/p>

The children got used to our new family routine, in which they would periodically go outside to visit their father as if he were a caged lion in a zoo. Adam would climb the iron gate outside Osama\u2019s room and chatter away, while Forat liked to pass Osama drawings underneath the door. I put a table in the garden, outside Osama\u2019s room, and we would eat meals there, as if together.<\/p>

Osama\u2019s attempts to schedule a coronavirus test at the Palestinian Health Ministry went nowhere. There was no answer at the phone number designated for coronavirus testing, and sending the online form yielded only error messages.<\/p>

\u201cYou would have to stay in quarantine for 14 days anyway,\u201d I told him. \u201cEven if you got a negative test.\u201d But both of us were concerned about the systemic failings that the lack of response indicated.<\/p>

\u201cIt\u2019s what I have always told you,\u201d Osama said to me. \u201cIn Ramallah we have everything, but it\u2019s hollow.\u201d<\/p>

The next day, I took the children to a sixth birthday party for Salah, Forat\u2019s friend from kindergarten. Two other families came, and the children played on Salah\u2019s huge balcony, on the roof of the building that looked out over olive groves. Adam raced toward the swing, and Forat and Salah ran to his room to dress up like Wonder Woman and a vampire. One of the guests, a thirty-something man, approached me and introduced himself as Omar.<\/p>

\u201cIs that your daughter?\u201d he asked, pointing to Adam, who was wearing Forat\u2019s pink Hello Kitty dress.<\/p>

\u201cMy son,\u201d I corrected. \u201cHe likes dresses.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cLike my daughters,\u201d Omar said, pointing to a baby and a girl of about four who sat next to their mother, a young woman in a flowered hijab.<\/p>

Adam raced to the trampoline and jumped high.<\/p>

\u201cIma, look!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019m looking, sweetheart.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIma!!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019m looking, sweetheart,\u201d but I turned away to pour myself a glass of wine. I collapsed onto the sofa.<\/p>

\u201cYou\u2019re tired?\u201d Omar asked.<\/p>

\u201cSorry,\u201d I said. \u201cMy partner was abroad, now he\u2019s in quarantine, and the daycares are still closed. I have been alone with my kids for a month, and I\u2019m going nuts.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou spoke with them in Hebrew,\u201d he said, and sat next to me.<\/p>

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cIt must be complicated, to speak Hebrew here in Ramallah,\u201d he said. \u201cHow do people react?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI think that because it\u2019s not expected, and the associations with the language are in a military context \u2013 a lot of people don\u2019t notice that I\u2019m speaking Hebrew.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYour son\u2019s \u2018Ima\u2019 was hard to miss.\u201d Omar examined my face. \u201cIt\u2019s not an easy decision.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cThere\u2019s no easy way for me to live here,\u201d I said.<\/p>

\u201cI would imagine.\u201d<\/p>

I was surprised by his forthrightness. Sawsan, Salah\u2019s mother, had raised the question of my identity only after we had known each other for weeks. Other friends avoided the subject unless I raised it. But Omar began to confide in me, sharing experiences with soldiers in the village where he grew up, his encounters with Israeli settlers and a conversation he had with an Israeli tourist, in the airport in Frankfurt, while he waited to board a flight to Amman, and the Israeli man waited for a flight to Tel Aviv.<\/p>

\u201cI heard him speaking Hebrew to his girlfriend \u2013 she was wearing that star on a chain \u2013 and I was really scared. But I told myself I had a rare opportunity to speak with an Israeli, and that I would be safe, because we were in Europe.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cWhat did you talk about?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI don\u2019t remember exactly. I wanted him to know that I was Palestinian. I wanted to talk to him without him being in a position of power over me. I\u2019m glad I talked to him.\u201d And then Omar continued: \u201cPeople here don\u2019t know how to separate the language from the occupation. It\u2019s not the fault of the language, but people mostly hear it from soldiers.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cOr at Israeli construction sites and prisons,\u201d I said, thinking of the Hebrew lessons my partner Osama learned<\/a> as a teenager and young man.<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019m very glad to meet you,\u201d Omar said to me. \u201cI had to come a long way in order to be glad to meet you.\u201d<\/p>

I wanted him to say more, but Sawsan arrived with the birthday cake. While everyone sang to Salah, I looked at the view. On the horizon I could see the towers of the Israeli city of Modi\u2019in. Such a tiny space, but few people get to travel throughout its different parts. There was a time when Ramallah was foreign to me, too \u2013 threatening and scary. I wanted to tell Omar that I have also come a long way.<\/p>

This post was also published at Haaretz.com on August 17, 2020:<\/em> https:\/\/www.haaretz.com\/israel-news\/it-must-be-complicated-to-speak-hebrew-here-in-ramallah-1.9076913<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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