{"id":3514,"date":"2021-05-18T12:41:28","date_gmt":"2021-05-18T09:41:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ummforat.com\/?p=3514"},"modified":"2021-05-18T12:41:28","modified_gmt":"2021-05-18T09:41:28","slug":"quiet-in-raleigh-less-so-in-the-jabalia-refugee-camp","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ummforat.com\/en\/quiet-in-raleigh-less-so-in-the-jabalia-refugee-camp\/","title":{"rendered":"Quiet in Raleigh. Less so in the Jabalia Refugee Camp."},"content":{"rendered":"

Far from the violence, Osama worries about his family in Gaza while I clumsily try to create a holiday atmosphere. It\u2019s our third war together.<\/em><\/p>\n

Smoking Break<\/strong><\/p>\n

Raleigh, North Carolina, our temporary home for Osama\u2019s sabbatical. 7:30 am. Osama finished his second conversation that morning with his niece, Salam, a mother of three in the Gaza Strip. I looked at him questioningly but he shrugged his shoulders.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t know what I\u2019m supposed to feel,\u201d he said. I wrapped my arms around him, trying to penetrate his layers of defense, but he pulled away gently, poured a cup of coffee and went outside to smoke. I spread humus on Adam\u2019s sandwich for preschool.<\/p>\n

\u201cIma, where\u2019s Baba?\u201d Adam emerged from his bedroom dressed in an inside-out shirt. Despite my disapproval of Osama smoking, I wanted to give him time alone. I lied to Adam.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaybe in the bathroom?\u201d I suggested. Adam called Osama\u2019s name, checked in both bathrooms and returned to the living room. \u201cHe\u2019s not there!\u201d he said, on the verge of tears. I opened the balcony door and pointed to Osama, on the other side of the parking lot. When he saw us, Osama turned his back to hide the lit cigarette. Adam smiled, put on his shoes and ran outside. Osama quickly extinguished his cigarette, took Adam by the hand and brought him back to the apartment.<\/p>\n

\u201cThis boy is more effective than your attempts to hide my lighter,\u201d Osama said.<\/p>\n

\u201cDid anyone visit your family today?\u201d I asked. It was the first day of Eid al-Fitr, the Muslim holiday that marks the end of Ramadan. During an ordinary year, in the Jabalia Refugee Camp, the men visit female relatives and bring them and the children money and chocolate.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo one is coming today,\u201d Osama said. \u201cMy brothers don\u2019t leave the house except to go downstairs to my mother\u2019s apartment.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Jews Are Bombing Us<\/strong><\/p>\n

I couldn\u2019t concentrate on work. I called my friend Michael, and he told me they had left Holon for his sister-in-law in Petah Tikva, who has a shelter inside her apartment. His six-year old daughter, he said, insists on staying close to the shelter. In answer to his question, I told him that Osama\u2019s family was physically unharmed, but terrified because yesterday, the Israeli military bombed a house a kilometer from theirs and killed two children.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut don\u2019t they tell the families to leave before they shell the homes?\u201d Michael asked.<\/p>\n

I felt a wave of frustration and anger, that even Michael believes the propaganda of the Israel Defense Forces. I reminded myself that Michael is sick with worry over his kids, and that my children are a safe distance away, enjoying springtime in the southeastern United States. \u201cThey warn when they want to demolish an empty building,\u201d I told him. \u201cThey don\u2019t warn when they want to kill.\u201d<\/p>\n

I called my mother-in-law and complimented her on the bright henna she had used to dye her hair red. I showed her my own white roots: \u201cIt\u2019s your grandchildren\u2019s fault!\u201d She laughed and wished me a happy holiday. She was sitting in her living room with Nisreen, another one of Osama\u2019s nieces. There are no shelters in Gaza.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe tell the children it\u2019s just noise,\u201d Nisreen said, in answer to my question. \u201cIbrahim is three and gets annoyed, he yells at the missiles, \u2018Be quiet already!\u2019 It\u2019s actually funny. But Mariam is five and understands and is terrified. The bombs come one after the other \u2013 Boom! Boom! Boom! It\u2019s terrible.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat does Mariam understand?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat the Jews are bombing us.\u201d<\/p>\n

Holiday Cookies<\/strong><\/p>\n

On my way to pick up Adam from preschool, I stopped at a natural foods store to buy semolina flour, so we could make the traditional holiday cookies. The saleswoman didn\u2019t know what semolina was, but I found a package of it hidden between the organic almond flour and fair trade, sustainable coconut sugar. In a charming Southern accent, she asked if I needed anything else. Without expectation, I asked for rosewater and was shocked when she seemed to know what it is. She took me to a small aisle and offered me a tiny bottle capped by what looked like an eyedropper.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat\u2019s for eating?\u201d I asked her.<\/p>\n

\u201cAh, no, you don\u2019t eat it,\u201d she said, taken aback. \u201cIt\u2019s wonderful for the face, it refreshes the skin.\u201d<\/p>\n

At home, I prepared a festive dinner and insisted that we make holiday cookies. I tried to draw Osama into the decision of what to use as a substitute for rosewater in the dough.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t like holidays,\u201d he said. His phone rang and I saw Salam\u2019s name on the screen again. I heard Osama encourage her to bake ka\u2019ak il-eid, the same holiday cookies he had just disdained. After he hung up, he explained to me: \u201cShe\u2019s afraid to go to the kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIs the kitchen more exposed than the bedroom?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Osama said. \u201cThere\u2019s no difference, but she\u2019s traumatized. I thought it would do her good, to focus on making cookies for the children.\u201d<\/p>\n

Adam sat in a corner of the kitchen, absorbed in building a lego tower with his sister, Forat. I wanted to hug them both, to hold them close to me. But Osama was rolling a cigarette, and I didn\u2019t want Adam to notice him leaving the house.<\/p>\n

\u201cTry to keep the World Health Organization from following me,\u201d Osama requested. But on his way out of the apartment, he stopped. \u201cWhat are you doing?\u201d he asked me.<\/p>\n

\u201cMaking ka\u2019ak,\u201d I said. Cookies.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhy are you doing it like that?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t have the mold we use in Ramallah,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou don\u2019t need it, just roll them like we did in Philadelphia,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

The dough kept getting mixed in with the walnut and date fillings. My failed attempts seemed to motivate Osama to join me in trying to create a holiday atmosphere, after all. He rested his cigarette on the counter and sat down next to me. He began to form cookies into ring shapes, maybe trying to connect to his mother or siblings in Gaza, who at that moment were lying in their beds, waking sporadically when the shelling got close or maybe lying sleepless as they had the night before, trying to measure the distance between the bombs and the children\u2019s beds.<\/p>\n

Adam and Forat abandoned their tower and joined Osama, rolling dough and mostly licking the spoons of filling, until the baking sheets were full.<\/p>\n

I made a quick calculation \u2013 this was the third war Osama and I experienced together, each time outside of Gaza and outside of Tel Aviv, with Osama glued to the news and his telephone. I was also glued to the phone, talking to Gaza, talking to Tel Aviv, worrying about the people I love in both places while also understanding that there is no symmetry between their situations.<\/p>\n

As in Ramallah, here we are safe from the bombing.<\/p>\n

I placed the trays of crooked cookies into the oven.<\/p>\n

\u201cKul sana wa inta salem,\u201d I told Osama. Happy holiday. This time he didn\u2019t pull away from my embrace.<\/p>\n

This post was also published in haaretz.com on May 18, 2021:<\/em><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.haaretz.com\/israel-news\/we-just-began-a-quiet-year-in-north-carolina-now-we-are-glued-to-news-from-gaza-1.9818172<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Far from the violence, Osama worries about his family in Gaza while I clumsily try to create a holiday atmosphere. It\u2019s our third war together. Smoking Break Raleigh, North Carolina, our temporary home for Osama\u2019s sabbatical. 7:30 am. Osama finished his second conversation that morning with his niece, Salam, a mother of three in the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3517,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_crdt_document":"","jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":[],"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_override_bookmark_settings":[],"jnews_override_counter":[],"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[28,38,74],"class_list":["post-3514","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-military-force","tag-gaza","tag-israel-palestine","tag-war"],"yoast_head":"\nQuiet in Raleigh. 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