{"id":3913,"date":"2021-06-16T05:37:14","date_gmt":"2021-06-16T02:37:14","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ummforat.com\/?p=3913"},"modified":"2021-06-16T05:37:14","modified_gmt":"2021-06-16T02:37:14","slug":"coming-out-of-the-closet-far-from-the-closet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ummforat.com\/en\/coming-out-of-the-closet-far-from-the-closet\/","title":{"rendered":"Coming Out of the Closet, Far from the Closet"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0After a year and a half of anonymity, it feels good and also a bit scary to emerge from the protection of a pen name. <\/em><\/p>\n

I began publishing this blog in December 2019, seven years after I moved to the Ramallah area to live with my partner. As a Jewish woman married to a Palestinian, I live in two worlds, and I wanted to write about life on the other side of the separation barrier, from the point of view of a mixed family.<\/p>\n

I wrote about how people in Ramallah respond when they hear me speaking Hebrew in the supermarket<\/a><\/span>, at a child\u2019s birthday party<\/a> <\/span>and also at home, when I lose patience and yell at my kids<\/a><\/span>. I wrote about encounters with Israeli soldiers on morning runs<\/a><\/span> with my toddler in the stroller, while trying to cross a flying checkpoint<\/a> <\/span>in order to get home and as part of my partner\u2019s efforts to travel abroad<\/a><\/span> and then come home<\/a><\/span>. I wrote about our attempts to raise our children to oppose restrictive social norms such as disapproval of women wearing bathing suits<\/a><\/span> or boys who like dresses<\/a><\/span>. I also wrote about the closure of the Gaza Strip, where my in-laws live, which makes visiting a family member<\/a><\/span> or getting to a hospital<\/a><\/span> nearly impossible.<\/p>\n

I chose the pen name \u201cUmm Forat,\u201d meaning \u201cForat\u2019s mother\u201d, to maintain privacy. I had professional and security reasons to remain anonymous but also personal and family reasons: I try to write about my personal life directly and honestly, and the pen name provided a measure of protection. More importantly, the pen name protected my family, who didn\u2019t ask for me to write about them in a blog.<\/p>\n

Despite all that, I have now published a book, Maqluba Upside-Down Love (Hebrew, Asia Publishing<\/a>)<\/span>, under my own name: Sari Bashi. I also gave an interview<\/a><\/span> (Hebrew) to Haaretz about the book.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

So \u2026 it\u2019s nice to meet you. I\u2019m a 45-year old lawyer, human rights activist and runner, raising two wonderful children, Forat, 7, and Adam, 3, in the Ramallah area.<\/p>\n

I began writing \u201cMaqluba,\u201d which means \u201cupside-down\u201d in Arabic, 11 years ago. I wrote it out of a sense of wonder at the world to which my relationship with Osama exposed me. I wrote it during difficult periods, when Osama and I struggled with external pressures \u2013 military prohibitions, travel restrictions and also the overwhelming, unwanted but also unavoidable difference in the power dynamics between us, because I belong to the occupying society, and Osama belongs to the occupied society. Sometimes I wrote in order to overcome the interpersonal, ordinary challenges that we, like every couple, experienced. There were times when I wrote the book to heal after a break-up with Osama or in order to find my way back to him.<\/p>\n

The book is written in two voices, Osama\u2019s and mine. It describes our attempts to allow Osama to remain in his house in Ramallah, despite opposition from the Israeli military authorities, and also the journey our connection took, from a lawyer-client relationship to a love relationship. We couldn\u2019t find room for our love in Israel or in Palestine, so we built a space within the non-space, where the two of us could meet as human beings, as a woman and a man, and as Sari and Osama.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

It\u2019s easier for me to reveal my identity now, while we are on a sabbatical year in the United States, far from a place where the fact that I\u2019m Israeli and Osama is Palestinian dictates whether he\u2019ll join the children and me for a visit to the sea or a family dinner. But I\u2019m also grateful for the opportunity to continue this dialogue with readers openly, without anonymity. Throughout the life of the blog, I have felt gratitude to readers who responded to its posts, including those who politely and respectfully disagreed with what I wrote.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll continue writing the blog using the pen name, but now without hiding behind it. Although the blog is meant to be about raising our kids in Israel-Palestine, I\u2019ll write occasionally from my current, temporary place of residence, in green and pretty Raleigh, North Carolina.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019ll continue to thank you for reading it.<\/p>\n

This blog post was also published on haaretz.com on June 15, 2021:<\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.haaretz.com\/israel-news\/.premium-our-jewish-israeli-writer-in-ramallah-is-ready-to-reveal-who-she-is-1.9907163?fbclid=IwAR3MuttfZUxMuF00dJ1jQv0Neshs2o9HgdXNN4oSIunlnHjEg5x5–Ttwws<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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