{"id":4609,"date":"2021-12-28T06:26:47","date_gmt":"2021-12-28T04:26:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ummforat.com\/?p=4609"},"modified":"2024-10-21T08:06:10","modified_gmt":"2024-10-21T08:06:10","slug":"when-is-it-ok-to-teach-children-about-inequality-and-oppression","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ummforat.com\/en\/when-is-it-ok-to-teach-children-about-inequality-and-oppression\/","title":{"rendered":"When is it OK to teach children about inequality and oppression?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Children are aware of stratification by gender and ethnicity. They notice who works in preschools, who their parents\u2019 bosses are, and who cleans public toilets.<\/em><\/p>\n

Rereading a book from my childhood<\/strong><\/p>\n

Forat lay on her bed and lifted her eyes from the book in her hands. \u201cIma, why doesn\u2019t the father know where the food in the kitchen is kept?\u201d she asked. She was reading a book called \u201cTales of a Fourth Grade Nothing,\u201d about the relationship between a nine-year old boy and his three-year old brother. I joined her in reading the chapter describing how the mother goes away for the weekend and leaves the boys with their father, who has no idea how to take care of them or the apartment.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey want to show that the father doesn\u2019t know how to take care of his children,\u201d I told her. \u201cAs if he only goes to work.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut why?\u201d Forat asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cSome people think that mothers should stay home with their children, and that men don\u2019t know how to be good parents,\u201d I told her.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you don\u2019t agree, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cRight.\u201d I said, and then I added: \u201cYou know that there are people who will tell you that because you\u2019re a girl, you\u2019re not as good as boys or that there are things you can\u2019t do. And they are wrong.\u201d<\/p>\n

I was thrilled when I found that beloved book, familiar from my childhood, in a little street library in Raleigh, North Carolina, where we have lived for the last year. After the conversation with Forat, I re-read it. The author, Judy Blume, is considered to have been a pioneer: In the 1970\u2019s and 1980\u2019s, she wrote frankly about children and teenagers dealing with adolescence, menstruation, their parents\u2019 divorce and sex. Now I discovered things in her writing that I hadn\u2019t remembered, maybe because, at the time they were written, they were the norm for children\u2019s literature in the United States: The characters were upper middle class and white. The mother cared for the children while the father worked in an office. The father\u2019s work colleagues were men, except for a secretary, who was described as obsessed with her hair and makeup. In the apartment building where the family lived, there was an elevator operator who called the mother by her family name, \u201dMrs. Hatcher,\u201d while she called him by his first name, \u201cHenry.\u201d The mother was described as emotional, and the father was portrayed as disconnected from his family.<\/p>\n

Protecting our children<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re not like you, we don\u2019t want to expose our children to complicated social problems,\u201d Diana told me. She\u2019s Israeli-American, white and of Ashkenazi descent, living in the United States. \u201cAt this stage of childhood, they\u2019re in a kind of paradise, and we\u2019ll let them stay there for as long as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cThey\u2019re not in paradise, they\u2019re living in an unequal world,\u201d I said. \u201cYour children observe, consciously or unconsciously, that most of the other kids in their private school are white, that the people who work as cleaners are primarily brown and Black women, and that most of the professors at the university where their father teaches are white. The question is what meaning they give to these facts.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI understand that it\u2019s like that for your children, because of your circumstances,\u201d Diana said. \u201cBut my children have not been exposed to things like that yet, and I want to protect them for as long as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n

Children learn by observing the world around them<\/strong><\/p>\n

We are a mixed family, Israeli-Palestinian, and we usually live in the Ramallah area. Diana is right that we couldn\u2019t have avoided explaining to our kids what a checkpoint<\/a><\/span> is, why their father can\u2019t join us for an outing to the sea<\/a><\/span> and why their father and mother are not allowed to drive the same car<\/a><\/span>. Forat asks questions, and we answer them, because her life is directly impacted by the inequality and oppression in Israel-Palestine. We have to scramble to get permits for her father, take precautions on roads frequented by soldiers or settlers and buy two cars. But since we moved to the United States, where we enjoy the privilege of being a \u201cwhite\u201d family, I have come to believe that it\u2019s even more important to address the questions our children don\u2019t ask, about the stratification that may seem less jarring to them, because in the United States, unlike in Israel-Palestine, they belong to the privileged social class.<\/p>\n

Three years ago, we lived for a year in the United States and enrolled our children in a preschool in a racially diverse city. The director there relayed a story about how the teachers address stereotypes that even small children bring: A three-year old white boy saw a Black man approach the preschool and mistakenly thought he was a janitor. In reality, the man had come to the preschool to pick up his son. The boy\u2019s mistake was disturbing but also understandable. Children absorb what they see and hear and use it to put together a picture of our world, flawed as it is.<\/p>\n

A week ago, I took Forat to the eye doctor. The woman who sat outside the clinic and checked our temperature was Black. The technician who checked Forat\u2019s vision was a white woman, and the doctor was a white man. That stratification of roles according to gender and ethnic identity repeats itself in countless interactions. Small children notice who works in preschools, who drives trucks, who are their parents\u2019 bosses and who cleans the public toilets.<\/p>\n

Irrespective of her unusual circumstances in Israel-Palestine, Forat does not live in paradise. I don\u2019t think she\u2019s unique in that. Few children are blind to the oppression and inequality that characterize nearly every human society. The question is whether they think that is how things should be, or whether we can help them develop a critical approach to that stratification and the motivation to try to change it.<\/p>\n

This post was also published on haaretz.com on December 29, 2021:<\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.haaretz.com\/us-news\/.premium-when-a-beloved-book-from-your-childhood-brings-up-troubling-questions-1.10499351<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Children are aware of stratification by gender and ethnicity. They notice who works in preschools, who their parents\u2019 bosses are, and who cleans public toilets. Rereading a book from my childhood Forat lay on her bed and lifted her eyes from the book in her hands. \u201cIma, why doesn\u2019t the father know where the food […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5081,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_crdt_document":"","jnews-multi-image_gallery":[],"jnews_single_post":{"format":"standard","override":[{"template":"5","parallax":"1","layout":"right-sidebar","sidebar":"default-sidebar","second_sidebar":"default-sidebar","sticky_sidebar":"1","share_position":"bottom","share_float_style":"share-monocrhome","show_share_counter":"1","show_view_counter":"1","show_featured":"1","show_post_meta":"1","show_post_author_image":"1","show_post_date":"1","post_date_format":"default","post_date_format_custom":"Y\/m\/d","show_post_reading_time":"0","post_reading_time_wpm":"300","post_calculate_word_method":"str_word_count","show_zoom_button":"0","zoom_button_out_step":"2","zoom_button_in_step":"3","number_popup_post":"1","show_author_box":"1","show_post_related":"1","show_inline_post_related":"0"}],"image_override":[{"single_post_thumbnail_size":"crop-500","single_post_gallery_size":"crop-500"}],"trending_post_position":"meta","trending_post_label":"Trending","sponsored_post_label":"Sponsored by","disable_ad":"0"},"jnews_primary_category":[],"jnews_override_bookmark_settings":{"override_bookmark_button":"0","override_show_bookmark_button":"0"},"jnews_override_counter":{"view_counter_number":"0","share_counter_number":"0","like_counter_number":"0","dislike_counter_number":"0"},"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,6],"tags":[16,22,37,54,55],"class_list":["post-4609","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fitting-in","category-raising-children-to-resist","tag-childrens-books","tag-critical-race-theory","tag-israel","tag-oppression","tag-palestine"],"yoast_head":"\nWhen is it OK to teach children about inequality and oppression? - Sari Bashi<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ummforat.com\/en\/when-is-it-ok-to-teach-children-about-inequality-and-oppression\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"When is it OK to teach children about inequality and oppression? - Sari Bashi\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Children are aware of stratification by gender and ethnicity. 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