{"id":4698,"date":"2022-08-17T14:12:19","date_gmt":"2022-08-17T11:12:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.ummforat.com\/?p=4698"},"modified":"2024-10-24T19:16:21","modified_gmt":"2024-10-24T19:16:21","slug":"is-your-mother-one-of-those-soldiers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ummforat.com\/en\/is-your-mother-one-of-those-soldiers\/","title":{"rendered":"Is your mother one of those soldiers?"},"content":{"rendered":"

When my daughter said that I speak Hebrew, a girl in summer camp pantomimed firing a gun and asked, \u201cIs your mother one of them?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIma! There are kids up there, and they\u2019re speaking Arabic!\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

After a year and a half in North Carolina, we returned to Ramallah. Against all odds, we even managed to get permission<\/a><\/span> from the Israeli military for my partner, Osama, to fly with the children and me into the airport in Israel. We picked up my car from friends in Tel Aviv, packed it with suitcases and began the drive to Ramallah.<\/p>\n

It was Friday night, the Jewish Sabbath, and the Israeli settlements along the way were quiet. When we turned toward the Palestinian villages outside Ramallah, the noise overwhelmed us. It was the evening before Eid al-Adha, the Muslim Holiday of Sacrifice. The streets were full of people \u2013 young men and families with children walked in the middle of the streets, greeting each other and buying coffee, candy and sweet lupine from roadside stands. The girls wore party dresses, and the boys were dressed in button-down shirts, their short hair plastered down neatly. Drivers honked loudly and cut in front of me.<\/p>\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t miss this place,\u201d Osama said dryly. But the children were thrilled by the late-night, lively urban activity. Eight-year old Forat explained to her younger brother: \u201cAdam, this is Ramallah. We live here.\u201d Her sense of belonging took me by surprise. After all our travels throughout the world<\/a><\/span>, she feels this is her home.<\/p>\n

The next day, we sent Forat and Adam to play in the garden so that we could wash the layer of dust that had settled on the floors and furniture. Karam and Sama, the children who live in the apartment above us, called out from their balcony. Forat greeted them in English, but Adam, who had been three years old when we left, didn\u2019t remember them. He raced into the house and delivered the exciting news: \u201cIma! There are kids up there, and they\u2019re speaking Arabic!\u201d<\/p>\n

We began setting up the apartment. Forat and Adam had forgotten about their toys. Each time we unpacked a carton of loot, they screamed in joy. Forat had already resumed speaking a few words in Arabic, a language that had been merely passive for the last year and a half.<\/p>\n

Forat is growing up<\/strong><\/p>\n

Forat appeared to be an expert in matters of military occupation, at least insofar as they related to her daily life. One day, she returned with Osama from a visit to a friend and announced that they had twice taken detours because the Israeli army had blocked the roads.<\/p>\n

\u201cThere was jaysh!\u201d she said, using the Arabic word for army. Osama seemed less excited. He said the soldiers had blocked the western entrance to the city to allow Jewish settlers to pray at a site there. Ever since Forat was a little girl, I told her that the soldiers set up checkpoints and don\u2019t allow her Palestinian father to cross, because they\u2019re having trouble sharing<\/a>. I wondered how much longer that explanation would satisfy her.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Street performance in Ramallah 2022. Credit: Umm Forat<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

As I prepared to take the children to Jerusalem on errands, Forat explained to Adam: \u201cBaba can\u2019t come with us, because he doesn\u2019t have a permit<\/a>.\u201d At the shopping mall in Jerusalem, Forat informed Adam that \u201cHere, people speak Hebrew.\u201d But then we entered an elevator and found ourselves next to a man, apparently a Palestinian citizen or resident of Israel, speaking Arabic on his cell phone. Forat\u2019s eyes widened, and she gestured for me to bend down close to her face.<\/p>\n

\u201cIma,\u201d she whispered into my ear, \u201cIs he allowed to be here?\u201d Palestinian citizens and residents of Israel are allowed into Jerusalem, but Palestinians whom the Israeli government considers to be residents of Gaza or the West Bank are not.<\/p>\n

I had worried about Forat\u2019s return to the West Bank. She has reached the age at which children become more aware of their social and political surroundings and would have to deal with the complexity of being part of a mixed<\/span> Israeli-Palestinian family<\/a>. But she seems to be developing coping skills. After her first week of summer camp, Forat told Osama that one of the girls in the camp saw her eating a bag of apple chips and asked about the Hebrew writing on the package. In the course of the conversation, Forat told her friends that her mother speaks Hebrew. One of the girls made a gesture of firing a weapon and asked Forat if her mother is \u201cone of those,\u201d meaning an Israeli soldier.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo!\u201d Forat replied. \u201cMy mother fights them!\u201d That was Forat\u2019s explanation of my work promoting human rights and opposing the Israeli authorities\u2019 oppression of Palestinians. I felt proud of Forat\u2019s ability to distinguish between identity and actions and her confidence in explaining that distinction to her friends.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Friday market and festival, Ramallah. Credit: Umm Forat<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

My friend Tally<\/strong><\/p>\n

The grief over the death of my friend Tally<\/span><\/a>, who succumbed to cancer in May, followed me back to Palestine. I unpacked cartons containing household items that Tally gave me five years ago, when she and her family left their Tel Aviv apartment to move to the United States: a food processor, silicon baking trays and toys in a plastic bag labeled, in Tally\u2019s handwriting, with the name of her older daughter.<\/p>\n

One day Tally\u2019s mother sent me a text message offering to proofread the posts for this blog, as Tally used to do. I wept in gratitude and pain and accepted her offer. Those who love Tally are gathering together, trying to fill a void that only widens as the weeks pass.<\/p>\n

After a week back in our apartment, I dreamt of Tally. She was sitting next to me, and we were reading from my email account on a computer. Tally saw an email in which I sent a post<\/a><\/span> about her death. She looked at me quizzically, and her face was serene and beautiful. I was afraid of offending her.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was when you died,\u201d I said, embarrassed.<\/p>\n

In the dream, she wasn\u2019t offended. She smiled gently, and I put my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to me. Her body was supple, not tortured. We sat like that in a silent half-embrace. I felt as if I were able to share with her my grief over her death, and to share in her pain over the fact that she had died.<\/p>\n

I awoke with the sweet, sad taste of the proximity to her and the knowledge that in this new-old chapter of my life on which I was embarking – Tally would continue to be with me.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

This post was also published in Hebrew on haaretz.co.il on August 2, 2022:<\/em><\/p>\n

https:\/\/www.haaretz.co.il\/family\/umforat\/2022-08-02\/ty-article\/.premium\/00000182-592f-d339-a5ef-df2fbb4<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When my daughter said that I speak Hebrew, a girl in summer camp pantomimed firing a gun and asked, \u201cIs your mother one of them?\u201d \u201cIma! There are kids up there, and they\u2019re speaking Arabic!\u201d After a year and a half in North Carolina, we returned to Ramallah. 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