{"id":7511,"date":"2025-11-26T13:15:04","date_gmt":"2025-11-26T13:15:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ummforat.com\/?p=7511"},"modified":"2025-12-02T13:01:45","modified_gmt":"2025-12-02T13:01:45","slug":"switching-clothing-switching-identities","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ummforat.com\/en\/switching-clothing-switching-identities\/","title":{"rendered":"Switching Clothing, Switching Identities"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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Uniformed children streamed out of the school building, the older girls wearing the thick, long sleeved, polo shirts favored by the administration because, unlike the boys\u2019 button-down shirts, they can\u2019t be opened to reveal a hint of breast. Adam was home sick, so I came to collect Forat alone, to take her to a doctor\u2019s appointment in Jerusalem.<\/p>

She emerged among the throngs of kids and she offered me a rare smile. She\u2019s 11 years old and volatile, vacillating between rageful and sweet as she asserts her independence and then circles back to us. Maybe she was glad to have some time with me without her younger brother. Maybe she would let me hold her hand.<\/p>

I peeled the heavy lavender school bag off her back. As we walked to the car, I realized that I had forgotten to bring the change of clothing Forat had carefully selected the day before. When I confessed the oversight, her calm smile disappeared into rage.<\/p>

\u201cWhat?\u201d she screamed. \u201cHow could you do that? It\u2019s the only thing I asked of you! I can\u2019t go to Jerusalem in this hot, disgusting uniform!\u201d<\/p>

My apology only made her angrier. \u201cIf you were sorry, you wouldn\u2019t have forgotten! I\u2019m not going like this. We have to go home to get it!\u201d<\/p>

I kept walking. During a pause in her screaming, I told her that we didn\u2019t have time to return home, but I offered her my clothing instead. Forat, who had always been the shortest in her class, hit a growth spurt quite suddenly last year. She\u2019ll soon be taller than me.<\/p>

\u201cAbsolutely not! What would you wear?\u201d<\/p>

\u201cI\u2019ll wear your shirt \u2013 we can switch.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cNo!!\u201d<\/p>

\u201cForat, look how soft and elegant my shirt is. It\u2019s from Italy. It will look beautiful on you. And if you like it, you can borrow it again.\u201d<\/p>

\u201cYou can\u2019t wear my stupid school shirt in Jerusalem! Everyone will stare at you. What will the doctor say?\u201d<\/p>

Her shirt had her Palestinian school name and logo, in English and Arabic. Her doctor\u2019s appointment was in the Jewish Har Homa settlement in east Jerusalem, built on land taken from nearby Palestinian communities.<\/p>

\u201cHe won\u2019t say anything,\u201d I said, and promised to give her my shirt after we crossed our first checkpoint. For the last few years, the Israeli military has blocked the entrances from Palestinian towns to intercity roads in the West Bank, imposing long detours and tripling the length of what could have been a half hour drive.<\/p>

\u201cAre you supposed to be Jewish at the checkpoint?\u201d Forat knows that, depending on the area and who is allowed to travel there, I need to pass the soldiers\u2019 racial profiling as either Palestinian or Jewish.<\/p>

\u201cNo, I\u2019m supposed to be Palestinian at the first checkpoint,\u201d I said. \u201cBut I can\u2019t afford to be interesting, and a grown woman wearing a girl\u2019s school uniform attracts interest.\u201d<\/p>

As we neared the checkpoint, I saw a long line of cars fighting to get closer to the soldiers, who were known to take 20-minute breaks between checking each car. In my head I whispered my mantra \u2013 they can steal your time but only you can surrender your inner peace<\/em> \u2013 and made a U-turn, deciding on a 30-kilometer deter through a checkpoint that was usually unmanned.<\/p>

I pulled the car over and ducked under the steering wheel to remove my shirt. \u201cWe\u2019ll go a different way,\u201d I told Forat. \u201cWithout soldiers until we reach Jerusalem.\u201d<\/p>

The sleeves of her shirt didn\u2019t quite reach my wrists, but it mostly fit, and I could smell the sweat that her developing body was now producing in the unseasonably warm autumn weather. I looked down at her school logo, written in Arabic and English, and gave her a pocket mirror for her to inspect herself in my gray, capped-sleeve top.<\/p>

She seemed mollified and even a little apologetic. She allowed me to listen to \u201cAmerican Pie\u201d on the car audio system and didn\u2019t even complain when I sang along. She sweetly asked if we could stop for pizza after seeing the doctor.<\/p>

As we approached the second checkpoint, leading into Jerusalem, I put a shawl over her school shirt and then drove through with a smile to the soldiers, who barely glanced at me, profiling me as Jewish.<\/p>

\"\"
Har Homa settlement, East Jerusalem. Credit: Umm Forat<\/figcaption><\/figure>

At the clinic, the doctor politely ignored the too-snug Arabic language school uniform I wore. Forat answered his questions in nods or shrugs, pretending not to understand or speak Hebrew. Like me at checkpoints, she\u2019s also deciding who she needs to be.<\/p>

After eating pizza, we drove back, approaching a checkpoint separating the Ramallah area from the Jewish settlement of Givat Ze\u2019ev. I turned off the music and asked her to be quiet.<\/p>

\u201cDon\u2019t you need a shawl to cover my shirt?\u201d she asked.<\/p>

\u201cNo,\u201d I told her. \u201cHere I really need to be Palestinian.\u201d<\/p>

I wondered how she understood the geography of the West Bank, where the right to travel depends on racial identity, and how that understanding would evolve as she continued her journey into young womanhood. As the child of an Israeli Jewish mother and a Palestinian father, she\u2019s been code-switching since she first learned to speak.<\/p>

I looked in the rearview mirror to see her admiring herself in the hand mirror. She\u2019s old enough to look good in my soft, elegant, Italian-made shirt, and in a year or two it will fit her perfectly.<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Uniformed children streamed out of the school building, the older girls wearing the thick, long sleeved, polo shirts favored by the administration because, unlike the boys\u2019 button-down shirts, they can\u2019t be opened to reveal a hint of breast. 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